Thanks for your comment. I would agree with a woman choosing to do most of those things PROVIDED the relationship is reciprocal and she genuinely desires to do them as a gesture of her love. As far as making love when you don’t feel like it, I couldn’t in good conscious tell any woman to go against herself for this. I’d prefer that both parties work on creating an environment that encourages her desire. And that brings us back to this video. Long hair, sweet voice, etc. is trumped by being honest and self-loving. Beauty is a side benefit of self-honoring and self-loving. Both parties in a relationship need and should be granted space. Cooking should be done by the one who’s got the time, space, desire etc. I’ve got several happy girlfriends with satisfied amateur chef husbands. And I’ve never met a mother who didn’t deserve a great massage—no task is more difficult—and of course a woman can massage her man, if she wants to. I do love to have a man who leads, but it’s not a given. Respect is earned not owed.

It’s interesting that I can reach agreement with many of your statements, but the criteria supporting them is what matters to me.

These statements as “rules” feel disingenuous, self-betraying, and resentment engendering.

When I interviewed men for the top 5 things they wanted, here’s what they said:

5 Things Women Need to Know About Men

Men are as, or more, emotional than women. They don’t express it as readily or easily because it isn’t comfortable for them. Still waters run DEEP.

Mutually desired sex is VITAL for him to feel emotionally secure, confident and loved. When she says “No” to sex, he hears, “I don’t want you.” It hurts.

It is crucial that a woman NEVER criticize, mock, belittle, tease or insult her man in public or behind his back. Ideally, she doesn’t do it in private either, but if she must express something negative, she should do so only when no one else, children included, is present. Respect and honor him.

Taking care of her health, appearance and hygiene tells her man that she cares for and values him.

He wants to take care of her, provide for her, be romantic with her, but when she bosses him around, questions him and undermines his efforts, he withdraws and feels incompetent.

What men want most is GENUINE interest—not faked, automatic, or contrived. And they play a pivotal role in garnering this.

what women need to know about men:

1. keep your figure, long hair, sweet voice and other feminine ways

2. make love with him even when you don’t *feel* like it
3. give him space when he needs it
4. relax, and then cook him good meals/give back massage for the difficult tasks he takes over
5. also say i love you, and respect his leadership role as the man

Thank you, Pat. I am honored to meet you and look forward to you fulfilling your intention. <3