There is no gold medal for doing everything yourself. It doesn’t make you a better, stronger, or more deserving woman.
Give yourself permission to be vulnerable and to ask for help. Graciously accept it, and feel good about it. You’ll have opportunities to help others, too.
Scenarios to ask for help with.
When you’re hurting, a tremendous step toward healing is sharing your pain with someone you feel safe with. If the suffering is intense and you’re feeling shaky, unstable, or deeply discouraged tell someone. Reach out for support. Getting therapy when struggling is a powerful act of brave self-love.
If you’re struggling to move forward after a life challenge or setback, ask for help from a spiritual practitioner, coach, or mentor.
When there are more tasks than time, ask your children, partner, and family to share in the work.
If you’ve made a mistake, ask someone competent and trusted for guidance.
If your relationship isn’t satisfying your emotional or sexual needs or life intentions, thoughtfully ask your partner for what you need. Be specific.
If you find yourself carrying all the weight (ie. the very capable man at the store yesterday who was yakking about college ball on the phone with his buddy while his wife packed 15+ grocery bags into the cart, shoved them to the car, and labored to load them into the trunk). Let other people help you.
Life is a collection of moments. Embrace your power to make each moment more enjoyable, less stressful, and easier. Ask for help.
~ Cynthia
Thank you for that
Thank you for that
I am cleaning the house now and I won’t get a medal for it, so you are right
I am cleaning the house now and I won’t get a medal for it, so you are right
Carolee Spero – I clean too 🙂 It’s not that we don’t do anything; the point is not to do everything. 🙂
Carolee Spero – I clean too 🙂 It’s not that we don’t do anything; the point is not to do everything. 🙂
Also no medals for Martyrs 😉
When I was young and first pregnant I was walking up an incline. I was offered help and declined. I fell on my belly and must have looked like a turtle on my back. Now when help is offered I accept. I am currently building a mini house and have had to ask for help more than usual. I did feel bad about it but have been assured I am still doing most of the work. Truth be told I don’t think I could have done it without the help. I had to be taught to weld and lots of other things. I would sell the medal anyway.
When I was young and first pregnant I was walking up an incline. I was offered help and declined. I fell on my belly and must have looked like a turtle on my back. Now when help is offered I accept. I am currently building a mini house and have had to ask for help more than usual. I did feel bad about it but have been assured I am still doing most of the work. Truth be told I don’t think I could have done it without the help. I had to be taught to weld and lots of other things. I would sell the medal anyway.
Love, love, love! My biggest challenge is asking for some help when I need it. I was raised by a very independent woman who insisted that I do everything myself … and I really took that to heart. I learned not to rely on anyone for anything. Need a new light fixture installed in your kitchen? I can do it! Need a skirt hemmed? Ditto. Need your tire changed? Gotcha! Learning how to ask for help is HUGE in my world!
Love, love, love! My biggest challenge is asking for some help when I need it. I was raised by a very independent woman who insisted that I do everything myself … and I really took that to heart. I learned not to rely on anyone for anything. Need a new light fixture installed in your kitchen? I can do it! Need a skirt hemmed? Ditto. Need your tire changed? Gotcha! Learning how to ask for help is HUGE in my world!
Amen Gail Dendy De Santos – I grew up thinking hmmm Martyr must mean Independent and Successful cause so many people were perfecting the former and calling it the latter. 🙂
I love that Toni CyanBrock.
I love that Toni CyanBrock.
Shelli Clemens – I grew up the same and at some point I figured out that when I do everything, I don’t get to do the things that are really important to me (like my life’s work). I love knowing that I can do it all and solve whatever the problem is if needed, but when I take my hands off of the world, wonder of wonders, it still turns!
<3
Shelli Clemens – I grew up the same and at some point I figured out that when I do everything, I don’t get to do the things that are really important to me (like my life’s work). I love knowing that I can do it all and solve whatever the problem is if needed, but when I take my hands off of the world, wonder of wonders, it still turns!
<3
I’ve learned that the two BEST tools in my tool box are the phone book & the check book! LOL
I’ve learned that the two BEST tools in my tool box are the phone book & the check book! LOL
oh my. Become a 24/7 caregiver for terminally ill family members while working a full-time job and you will be forced to delegate. I learned very quickly about taking care of the important stuff, and either letting the rest go or asking someone else to do it. When my husband died, I certainly didn’t beat myself up with, ‘I wish I had a cleaner house.’ I was grateful I was able to spend quality time with him, it was too short a time as it was. After he died, I continued to ask for help while I grieved and healed. Today, I have a much more balanced view of ‘getting things done.’ I only have today. By honoring myself today, the rest will take care of itself. And this doesn’t always involve ‘getting it done.’ I have also learned that others are much more skilled at the things I don’t really wish to master. Why not experience the joy of the results of their talents instead of grinding away at something we don’t really want to do? My yard guy, my mechanic, my pedicurist, the local diner… you get the idea. 🙂
oh my. Become a 24/7 caregiver for terminally ill family members while working a full-time job and you will be forced to delegate. I learned very quickly about taking care of the important stuff, and either letting the rest go or asking someone else to do it. When my husband died, I certainly didn’t beat myself up with, ‘I wish I had a cleaner house.’ I was grateful I was able to spend quality time with him, it was too short a time as it was. After he died, I continued to ask for help while I grieved and healed. Today, I have a much more balanced view of ‘getting things done.’ I only have today. By honoring myself today, the rest will take care of itself. And this doesn’t always involve ‘getting it done.’ I have also learned that others are much more skilled at the things I don’t really wish to master. Why not experience the joy of the results of their talents instead of grinding away at something we don’t really want to do? My yard guy, my mechanic, my pedicurist, the local diner… you get the idea. 🙂
I’m so sorry Ellen Robertson Carver and I love your way <3
I’m so sorry Ellen Robertson Carver and I love your way <3
Agreed. Love it v
Agreed. Love it v
Doing it all has us end up exhausted and used up. Emotionally and financially. Not many will notice either.
Doing it all has us end up exhausted and used up. Emotionally and financially. Not many will notice either.
<3<3<3 🙂
<3<3<3 🙂
Very difficult for me to do. Yankee upbringing? Low self esteem?
Finding the right people to ask, now that is the dilemma.