I am sitting here in tears, I hurt so much and find myself a recluse. I was a burst of bubblying energy always doing things, giving to others. Because of my joint pain, total hip replacement, arthritis etc. I can just make it to the bathroom.to bathe.I consume pain meds but at times they do not make me feel better.I believe in the lord but at times I feel angry. Why am I like this? My friend from childhood just expired 2 weeks ago. He never gave up from the horrible cancer that took over his body. I cried and felt so lonely and I felt sad because I am alive and complaining.He left a beautiful wife and beautiful children who worshipped him. Why does this have to be like this? I do not know how my wonderful husband puts up with me….You guys are are wonderful and blessed to accept and keep going.

No obligation Chris, enough to know you saw my comment. A rule I have; always accept offered help with gratitude and thanks,i(which you have by replying)..If you can’t pay a deed back pay it forward when and if you can. Which is what Ijust did 🙂 x x x

Dearest Janice, I just wrote a heartfelt reply but it disappeared. I’m too uncomfortable to rewrite it now but I will. Blessings.

My heart goes out to you Chris, I have endured almost 7 years of constant capricious pain, I too had to give up the gym, walking, and my 24/7 social life has dwindled to whether I can stay out of bed long enough this Mothering Sunday for my children to visit. There are ways to survive;

Accept the five stages of grief for your former life:

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

It may be you’re at the depression stage (though the stages are by no means static)

Have compassion for yourself – suffering requires it, and it’s OK to accept and love your broken body as it is now – it’s doing it’s best in the only way it knows how.

Consider counselling – if only for help to accept you are where you are.

Consider hypnotherapy to help with the pain.

(In both cases check registration vigorously).

Some survival tips:

1) A small undated unlined book – every time something good happens – a rainbow on a sad day, an unexpected moment of laughter – put it in the book (not a journal or diary – I have 1 entry a month, 2 if I’m lucky).

2) Find out if there is a Pain Clinic in your area (they are free in the UK through GP referral)

3) OK, so you can’t gym – what CAN you do?

Write? Poetry? Compose meditations? Start a blog with how you cope throughout the day focusing on the positive. It doesn’t have to be read by anyone else – unless you want to share.

4)If you’re mobile check a local charity – an elderly person alone simply wants a cup of tea and company. That can be done sitting down. If you can’t walk, get an electric wheelchair (find a local charity if you can’t afford one).

5)Do you have a faith? Find a local church that reflects your views.

If you’re unable to attend – they are bound to have people who would like to visit you.

6)If your beliefs are spiritual rather ‘church’ go online, find groups that resonate with you.

7) Photography – if you’re able to go out – take a camera.

Above all focus on what you can do – or ask for guidance – inner or outer – on what your gifts are – we all have them, and a crisis like this can reveal them.

A gentle hug and all my best wishes for you

janice