May I offer you these words – I suffered a mini-stroke (Transient Ischemic Attack) when I was in my early 30’s and raising my 3 year old little boy. I subsequently suffered transient bouts of paralysis on my right side for 4 years. I did not drive except on local streets to the market and such. I was afraid to be alone. Fear is such an awful way to live. I never in my wildest dreams brought those events into fruition from self generated negative energy. I can say in all truth that I was experiencing a lot of stress and guilt during that time in my life trying to be something I was not; a phony image of an obedient God fearing Christian women.

Back at that time, I attended a full blown Pentecostal Church, I was ridden with guilt thinking what an awful sinner I was. I later left that church and struggled to get on with my life and with a lot of counseling from a wonderful psychologist I was introduced my to Joseph Campbell. After viewing Campbell’s film entitled “The Many Faces of God.” heavy shackles and chains in my tormented mind suddenly fell away.

Thereafter, within a span of 6 months I lost my mother who was the dearest person that has ever walked this planet with me, I came out as a lesbian, and fought an awful and very ugly divorce. My mother was my last family member. I felt so alone. My then husband self-declared me unfit to continue to be a mother to our beautiful son and attempted to litigate this before the court. I did not self generate the hate that surrounded me from negative energy. On the contrary, I tried to offer a hand of partnered parenting to my ex. He would have preferred to spit on me then co-parent with a dirty, sinful lesbian. In addition, I had not worked for many years and my youth account was dwindling, I was 45 and attempting to re-enter the workforce with no relevant work skills. I did not self generate these events with negative energy. I was in the throws of spiritual growth.

In each of these very personal life shifts, God was there with me in some pretty miraculous ways and still is to this day. I’m almost 60 now and still face my own inner fears and life’s trails and tribulations. I do not self generate negative energy although I know i am quite capable of doing so. When I catch my thoughts swirling toward that direction I stand up in my mind and do a complete turn about.

There is nothing wrong with you, there is everything right with you! Listen to that tiny God seed voice inside of you and take one step at a time forward, then more forward. Stop and take a rest after a few steps, give yourself a hug and a big old smile. Despite your hearts sorrows and frustrations you will make it.. I offer you my hand as a fellow sister on this planet, you can do it, I know you can. Sending love your way, Sarah from Kansas City. Namaste xo