It is very hard to stay true to ourselves when we expose ourselves constantly to negative relationships, family or friends. When we do not value ourselves, that is when we allow others to disrespect our bounderies. It is so hard to get out of that state of mind unless we surround ourselves with those who value us. Hence, “removing ourselves from harms way.”

One of your readers said, ” If you do not love them how can you love yourself?” Unfortunately, you have to possess love within yourself and love yourself first before you can begin to give love.

Cynthia, thank you, once again for your words of reassurance.

Thank you for sharing, Dee. I couldn’t disagree with you more, but I respect your views, nonetheless. Blood is bodily fluid and does not a relationship make. I have a bevy of friends with adopted children to attest to that.

I love every single person in my family (we’re going 20 years strong) and many of us are not related by blood, a few are homosexual, some old, some young, and we are every color of the rainbow. Bless it all.

Peace to you.

Cynthia

Thank you for sharing, Dee. I couldn’t disagree with you more, but I respect your views, nonetheless. Blood is bodily fluid and does not a relationship make. I have a bevy of friends with adopted children to attest to that.

I love every single person in my family (we’re going 20 years strong) and many of us are not related by blood, a few are homosexual, some old, some young, and we are every color of the rainbow. Bless it all.

Peace to you.

Cynthia

P.S. I had the abuse and lost a parent. Comparing notes is not my issue. My advise like yours is take it or leave it.

You need to make peace with family. You may not like them but you have to love them. Believe in God. Trust the fact that he gave you the family you have for a reason. You are who you are because of them. If you do not love them how can you love yourself? Life is full of ups and downs and you’re running.

Face it — fix it-come to peace with it-you agree to disagree with others it is the same with family. Grow up. You are young and still need to learn many things in life. Someday lets see if you change your song. Good luck on the new age love. It does scare me young kids will believe you and what you’re selling.

P.S. I had the abuse and lost a parent. Comparing notes is not my issue. My advise like yours is take it or leave it.

You need to make peace with family. You may not like them but you have to love them. Believe in God. Trust the fact that he gave you the family you have for a reason. You are who you are because of them. If you do not love them how can you love yourself? Life is full of ups and downs and you’re running.

Face it — fix it-come to peace with it-you agree to disagree with others it is the same with family. Grow up. You are young and still need to learn many things in life. Someday lets see if you change your song. Good luck on the new age love. It does scare me young kids will believe you and what you’re selling.

Bless you!

Bridget – It is so important for people who are still in the woods to hear from people like you. So many feel that things can never be better. You give hope.

Bless you!

That’s wonderful, Jessica. I’m happy for you.

Cynthia

Cynthia

BALINDA – I would take those threats seriously and reach out to both the authorities and available helplines (http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm). You need support from people versed in handling people who are destructive to themselves and others. The question is not, how to make it through the next year under these circumstances. The question is how can you obtain peace, safety, and the support you need while taking actions to help your son. Help is not always warm, easy or nice. It is kind though it may appear harsh. You will need support to learn and carry out what you’ll need to do. Give yourself that NOW. You will not resolve the current issues by ignoring or tolerating them; that will only delay having to take measures that have a chance to heal the situation.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. There is hope and you deserve peace. Do what you need to do.

LOVE TO YOU,

Cynthia

BALINDA – I would take those threats seriously and reach out to both the authorities and available helplines (http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/crisis_hotlines.htm). You need support from people versed in handling people who are destructive to themselves and others. The question is not, how to make it through the next year under these circumstances. The question is how can you obtain peace, safety, and the support you need while taking actions to help your son. Help is not always warm, easy or nice. It is kind though it may appear harsh. You will need support to learn and carry out what you’ll need to do. Give yourself that NOW. You will not resolve the current issues by ignoring or tolerating them; that will only delay having to take measures that have a chance to heal the situation.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling. There is hope and you deserve peace. Do what you need to do.

LOVE TO YOU,

Cynthia

Learning to attract my tribe. The ones who support me and love me for me. Who’s ideas and beliefs are closer to my own.

Doug – your comment tells me one of two things 1) you have never experienced harrowing harm, destruction or abuse within your family, or 2) you are too attached to your beliefs about family to see otherwise. I hope it is the former.

To walk away from abuse (emotional, sexual, physical) is severing oneself from harm, nothing else. It is of absolute and paramount importance. Remaining in harmful situations destroys oneself.

The contention that if one were to treat their family as good as new friends, they would be treated better fails. I’m not talking about petty disagreements and differences of opinions here, this should be obvious. For the sake of example, take child abuse (there are SO many other abuses, but this one is simple to explain). Thousands of children die (in just America the numbers are greater in many other places) at the hands of their family members. In no way are children responsible for their abuse and the best outcome would be for a new family to take the child.

To me family is not defined by blood relation or time spent together, instead it is defined by the qualities of the relationship. A man who gives the sperm to create a child he abandons is not a father, the man who steps in to raise the child earns that title. A stay at home alcoholic mother who beats her infant is not a mother, the sister-in-law who adopts and raises the child with love and protection is the mother.

Appearances, words, titles, beliefs and societal images are no substitute for substance and truth.

Be well,

Cynthia

Doug – your comment tells me one of two things 1) you have never experienced harrowing harm, destruction or abuse within your family, or 2) you are too attached to your beliefs about family to see otherwise. I hope it is the former.

To walk away from abuse (emotional, sexual, physical) is severing oneself from harm, nothing else. It is of absolute and paramount importance. Remaining in harmful situations destroys oneself.

The contention that if one were to treat their family as good as new friends, they would be treated better fails. I’m not talking about petty disagreements and differences of opinions here, this should be obvious. For the sake of example, take child abuse (there are SO many other abuses, but this one is simple to explain). Thousands of children die (in just America the numbers are greater in many other places) at the hands of their family members. In no way are children responsible for their abuse and the best outcome would be for a new family to take the child.

To me family is not defined by blood relation or time spent together, instead it is defined by the qualities of the relationship. A man who gives the sperm to create a child he abandons is not a father, the man who steps in to raise the child earns that title. A stay at home alcoholic mother who beats her infant is not a mother, the sister-in-law who adopts and raises the child with love and protection is the mother.

Appearances, words, titles, beliefs and societal images are no substitute for substance and truth.

Be well,

Cynthia