Comments on: The Alchemy of Pain

By: ResurrectingVenus

ResurrectingVenus — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 00:38:00 +0000

In reply to Hilary Quinn. What a beautiful testament and tribute Hilary. Two angels in service to each other and the world. Bless you.

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 00:26:49 +0000

In reply to Hilary Quinn. What a beautiful testament and tribute Hilary. Two angels in service to each other and the world. Bless you.

By: Guest

Guest — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 04:11:00 +0000

By: Hilary Quinn

Hilary Quinn — Thu, 21 Feb 2013 00:29:00 +0000

My second son, Xavier, died just before birth on November 20, 2009. There is so much to say regarding how this has changed my life, but I will stick to agreeing with you about being an alchemist. I am grateful to have been such even though it was something I just did, I dint really think about it, it was just my reaction. I find myself saying and knowing that I have become a happier person because my son died. I think it sounds “wrong” to people who have never experienced loss and grief of this magnitude. But I am sure Xavier is proud of the impact his far too short life had upon mine. I have achieved a type of peace I never had before in my day to day. I realize better what is truly important because I have experienced a loss that burned everything else away. I am grateful for my son, for my loss of him, for how i am a better person than I ever was and that I continue to be better every day. Thank you for sharing your story <3 and for letting me share mine. I didn't know this when I decided to name him, but Xavier means 'savior', and for me, he has been just that.

By: A Living Orchid

A Living Orchid — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 11:42:01 +0000

As I was reading this today I went to your blog. My intent was to post a comment. Once I reread what you wrote I had decided to comment and knew exactly what I wanted to write. Then as I scrolled down to read more, I had noticed that I had already commented on that last year. The funny part is that what I had written was almost exactly what I was going to write today. Then I reaized that I had so much more to add to it. I have learned and grown so much over the last year. I have learned to view the loss of my son in a whole different way~I have learned to grieve~I have learned that letting go does not mean forgetting. I do have to admit that I can not watch the news, read the newspaper or listen to stories about loss,especially the loss of children without feeling deeply saddened to the point that I take on that pain as though a strangers loss is my own. I am working very hard on this one because I am someone who wants to help everyone and I know that unless I take care of me I will not be in a position to help and take care of others. Thank you for posting this because it reminded me of how much I have grown over the last year. Much love!

By: Nicola Hay

Nicola Hay — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 05:47:51 +0000

Love to the family and friends of the lady who died … and thank you for your insightful response to life showing up as it does! x

By: Myra Naito

Myra Naito — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 22:53:44 +0000

“Alchemy of Pain.” I love that concept. Thank you for that. I am sending love and light to you during this tragedy. <3

By: Roberta Doodlebugmagik Smart

Roberta Doodlebugmagik Smart — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 22:39:05 +0000

Oh Cynthia, this is so good to read…i have long resonated with the idea that ‘Alchemy’ is the magic of turning negativity into positivity, and my role is one of Illuminating the Path for others to support their alchemical changes. i am no magician, but I feel my purpose is to act as the catalyst, bringing people together, providing a safe space for them to learn and grow and to show them the love and the light they so long to experience. my key emotion is one of ‘I see You’…its so important to be ‘seen’, to be visible in a world where it is so easy to become invisible. Many Blessings to you and your community during this difficult time. x

By: Kathy Davis

Kathy Davis — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 22:38:03 +0000

The most poignant.I pause and reflect and redirect my thoughts.Thank you Cynthia.

By: Cynthia Occelli

Cynthia Occelli — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:30:33 +0000

In reply to Christine Mattice.

Christine – Your comment sits squarely in my center. I am so sorry for your loss and longing. I completely understand what you mean about knowing she’s here and all is what it is, but still feeling the ache to touch, hear and hold. There is no answer for that. It just hurts. At some point, after sitting in the hurt a while, the next best thing arises . . . that’s the alchemy. It’s making the best of a bad situation.

It means so much to me that you’ve shared your heart. You remind me of a post I wrote years ago called The Secret Society of Soul-linked Sisters, here’s an excerpt:

“On the other side of loss, I’ve discovered a whole contingent of people, mainly women, who speak this language. It is as if there exists a club women join the instant we lose our innocence –the belief that we’re insulated from life’s harshest events. Only one who knows soul shadowing sadness can relate to us and through that pain we are linked. This bond of compassion tethers us together transcending age, socio-economic status, color and culture. Somehow women in this club are drawn together like magnets. Surrounded by her soul linked sisters a woman receives comfort and the reassurance that others have been where she is and have lived. She learns that, miraculously, we can create magnificent lives that could not be fully appreciated without the devastating event.”

Bless you, my sister,

Cynthia

By: Christine Mattice

Christine Mattice — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 16:58:49 +0000

Cynthia, this is the most beautiful essay on bereavement that I have ever read. I lost my beloved sister, Danielle, five years ago. We were extremely close and she was only 32. Though the raw pain has dimmed, I have not been the same since her death. The longer she's been gone, the more I want to talk to her again. I want to share things with her that I can only share with her. There's no one else that understood me like she did. I know she is still with me and around me, but I so want her to be in a physical body again. I want to hug her and tell her just how much I loved here (which she always knew anyway) and how much I have missed her. Thank you for writing this post, Cynthia.

By: Cynthia Occelli

Cynthia Occelli — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 01:16:40 +0000

In reply to Debi.

Debi – I know how hard you struggle. I always tell you what a champion you are, I know that your struggles are not in vain.

Big hug & much love to you,

Cynthia

By: Debi

Debi — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:55:51 +0000

As I am reading this, the tears begin to pour down my face. This is me~This is who I have been since my son Adrian left. I have never been able or desired to view it in any other way than the horrible tragedy that it is and was. I wanted to remain in a state of misery as this was my way of proving my love for him. If I let go of the pain, I am letting go of one of the few connections that I have to him. I have struggled and battled with this for the past almost 17 years~it is only the past few months that I am finally able to view his leaving a bit differently. I want so desperately to be the alchemist~As the anniversary date approaches on November the 19th. I am going to make it a goal to continue to turn this tragedy into something that is going to honor my sweet little man and his loving memory and at the same time put a smile on the face of a child who is ill. I am going to continue my toy drive for a local Childrens hospital~I am going to honor and focus on his life and not his leaving. This has been weighing very heavy on my heart lately and so this could not have come at a better time. Thank you so much for sharing this with us! Much love and appreciation to you, Cynthia!

By: Cynthia Occelli

Cynthia Occelli — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:39:46 +0000

In reply to Marsi.

Thank you so much, Marsi, that means everything to me –it’s another example of alchemy.

By: Marsi

Marsi — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:38:07 +0000

As always, beautiful. I admire your writing style: simple and to the point, I tend to ramble and when I find someone who can express themselves so wonderfully I have to stop and appreciate it. This writing came at an ideal time. I live in a small town and one of our own passed away after a 10 year struggle with cancer. She was very involved with the community, had teenage daughters and everyone supported her and her family and learned so much from her. Her death has shook so many to their core. I have shared your blog with a woman who was a dear close friend of hers in hopes it will give her hope and purpose and help her move forward and keep her friends spirit burning brightly thru her own actions and life.