Early in my career, my employer sent me to seminar on the psychology of selling. In essence, it was a course in manipulation. In words that made the act sound positive, we were taught to instill fearful beliefs in our customers so they, in an effort to end their discomfort, would buy our products.
Before we whipped them into a frenzy of insecurity, we garnered their trust by putting them on a pedestal. The formula was simple, tremendously effective and left me feeling like a schmuck.
The same manipulation formula is applied to us daily by our money & media driven culture. Television, radio, magazines, the internet and even our telephones bombard us with the message that we are inherently inadequate.
Pretty colors, friendly voices, snappy jingles and actors who seem to really care, assure us that though we are patently inferior we can, with their help, be better.
Here are a few of the pain statements, or lies, that lower our confidence and cause us to spend:
– Healthy bodies (not unhealthy and not rail thin) are unattractive.
– Getting older is a bad, bad thing.
– If you don’t look like you’ve just stepped off a fashion runway, you’re unappealing
– People naturally smell bad.
– Time is running out!! Hurry!
– You aren’t smart or qualified enough.
– If you feel sad that means you’re depressed and only drugs can really help.
– You’re going to get sick and have lots of health problems.
– If you’re single, you’re a loser.
– If your house doesn’t smell like chemicals, it’s not clean and you fail as a homemaker.
– You can’t succeed if you don’t have enough hair.
– You’re incompetent, therefore you can’t handle things yourself.
These beliefs are so entrenched in some people that they think they actually thought of them. Instead of living life based on the precept I am enough, they constantly pursue an unattainable state of perceived adequacy.
Imagine the shift in happiness and success that would occur if the energy invested in curing false beliefs was instead directed at pursuing the desires of our hearts.
Don’t sit idly by and let media messages slip into your belief systems unchecked. Pay attention. Recognize the manipulation and reject it. Affirm the truth to yourself and to your children.
You are inherently enough and the key to your success and happiness is within.
~ Cynthia
i love this post… think I'll read it again!
i love this post… think I'll read it again!
Your posts are always so deep. And by deep I mean cutting through the fluff.
Your posts are always so deep. And by deep I mean cutting through the fluff.
Determination & Crow,Thank you for commenting. I get so much personal satisfaction from knowing that others share my ideas about life. On a different note, I'm wondering if you two should "meet" each other. I've visited both of your blogs and thought it interesting that Determination's last post (http://bit.ly/aCuUkc) was about a disturbing dream and W.Crow (http://bit.ly/a1uANe) is a dream interpreter. Let me know if you connect and thank you again for reading and posting.Cynthia
Determination & Crow,Thank you for commenting. I get so much personal satisfaction from knowing that others share my ideas about life. On a different note, I'm wondering if you two should "meet" each other. I've visited both of your blogs and thought it interesting that Determination's last post (http://bit.ly/aCuUkc) was about a disturbing dream and W.Crow (http://bit.ly/a1uANe) is a dream interpreter. Let me know if you connect and thank you again for reading and posting.Cynthia
It always bothers me when I go to the store and can't find plain ol' toothpaste or plain ol' facial moisturizer. They hardly sell kinds that don't 'whiten' or 'tighten' something! I'm in the process of earning my wrinkles, and the color of my teeth was inherited from my lovely parents thank-you-very-much! 🙂
It always bothers me when I go to the store and can't find plain ol' toothpaste or plain ol' facial moisturizer. They hardly sell kinds that don't 'whiten' or 'tighten' something! I'm in the process of earning my wrinkles, and the color of my teeth was inherited from my lovely parents thank-you-very-much! 🙂
Thanks for writing about this, Cynthia. It's one of the reasons why I avoid watching television. Though I know those are lies, I am irritated by hearing them, and find my own thoughts much more validating and entertaining. One thing I've learned is that it's hard for anyone else to lie to us if we're not already telling ourselves a lie. One lie many people repeatedly tell themselves is that they are not enough, and those advertisers get in on that lie. Thank you for addressing it.
Thanks for writing about this, Cynthia. It's one of the reasons why I avoid watching television. Though I know those are lies, I am irritated by hearing them, and find my own thoughts much more validating and entertaining. One thing I've learned is that it's hard for anyone else to lie to us if we're not already telling ourselves a lie. One lie many people repeatedly tell themselves is that they are not enough, and those advertisers get in on that lie. Thank you for addressing it.
Hi,I just found your blog and I am glad that I did. And on this subject, yes, we would do well to pay attention as you say. Some advertising is done so effectively you have to admire the brilliance of it. But then there is the destructive advertising, designed to sell by playing upon weaknesses. In the last few years, a major trend seems to be to sell to the misunderstanding and lack of respect between the sexes. That is destructive.But the marketers are simply tapping into currently dominant human drives within their target market. It is us who provide the market forces that they use. But if, as you said — we pay attention — then perhaps we'll learn some valuable personal lessons by looking closely into that particular mirror.:-)John
Hi,I just found your blog and I am glad that I did. And on this subject, yes, we would do well to pay attention as you say. Some advertising is done so effectively you have to admire the brilliance of it. But then there is the destructive advertising, designed to sell by playing upon weaknesses. In the last few years, a major trend seems to be to sell to the misunderstanding and lack of respect between the sexes. That is destructive.But the marketers are simply tapping into currently dominant human drives within their target market. It is us who provide the market forces that they use. But if, as you said — we pay attention — then perhaps we'll learn some valuable personal lessons by looking closely into that particular mirror.:-)John
I couldn't agree more with your point about depression. I've found that at low points in my life, it's reading favourite books (not drugs!) that can uplift and inspire me. Now I blog about how these books have helped me on my journey to love, a better career and happiness at http://www.the-reading-list.com
I couldn't agree more with your point about depression. I've found that at low points in my life, it's reading favourite books (not drugs!) that can uplift and inspire me. Now I blog about how these books have helped me on my journey to love, a better career and happiness at http://www.the-reading-list.com
"You are inherently enough and the key to your success and happiness is within." Love this finishing sentence.Great blog post. Totally agree with you. I rarely watch t.v. or read magazines, so it always surprises me when I see how negative the advertisements are.
"You are inherently enough and the key to your success and happiness is within." Love this finishing sentence.Great blog post. Totally agree with you. I rarely watch t.v. or read magazines, so it always surprises me when I see how negative the advertisements are.
Reply to Determination's comment: "i love this post… think I'll read it again!" I've read it several times as well. (warm smile) I think that we would all do well to remember these words of wisdom. We should post a copy on our fridge as a daily reminder that the media is, for the most part, our mortal enemy. Thanks so much Cynthia for the reminder…and for putting it into such perfect perspective.
Reply to Determination's comment: "i love this post… think I'll read it again!" I've read it several times as well. (warm smile) I think that we would all do well to remember these words of wisdom. We should post a copy on our fridge as a daily reminder that the media is, for the most part, our mortal enemy. Thanks so much Cynthia for the reminder…and for putting it into such perfect perspective.
Brianne – It is refreshing and unusual to meet someone who embraces growing older. I had an experience in an intensive care unit where I saw people fighting to live just another hour. It really shook me. I realized what an honor it is to grow older. Thank you for commenting.Cynthia
Brianne – It is refreshing and unusual to meet someone who embraces growing older. I had an experience in an intensive care unit where I saw people fighting to live just another hour. It really shook me. I realized what an honor it is to grow older. Thank you for commenting.Cynthia
Kris – I avoid television, too. When I do watch it I TIVO and fast forward. Life is so much richer when you think your own thoughts!Thank you for posting.Cynthia
Kris – I avoid television, too. When I do watch it I TIVO and fast forward. Life is so much richer when you think your own thoughts!Thank you for posting.Cynthia
John Rocheleau – If we were given a dollar every time the TV portrayed men as bumbling, incompetent slobs, we could all retire. It's awful. Thank you for writing.Cynthia
John Rocheleau – If we were given a dollar every time the TV portrayed men as bumbling, incompetent slobs, we could all retire. It's awful. Thank you for writing.Cynthia
Hi Leslie (Ex Lit Prof) – It is wonderful that you have found a drug-free way to lift your spirits. I find great comfort and inspiration in books, too. Thanks for visiting.Cynthia
Hi Leslie (Ex Lit Prof) – It is wonderful that you have found a drug-free way to lift your spirits. I find great comfort and inspiration in books, too. Thanks for visiting.Cynthia
Hi Claire Wilson – Thank you for commenting. We must be the positivity in the world. By the way your photos are magnificent. Are any in the creative commons? I'd love to post one. Cynthia
Hi Claire Wilson – Thank you for commenting. We must be the positivity in the world. By the way your photos are magnificent. Are any in the creative commons? I'd love to post one. Cynthia
Shop-A-Holler Primitives – Thank you for such kind words. I visited your site and there are no "pain statements" at all 🙂 Wonderful! However, after reading the potpourri fragrance list, I am starving.Be well,Cynthia
Shop-A-Holler Primitives – Thank you for such kind words. I visited your site and there are no "pain statements" at all 🙂 Wonderful! However, after reading the potpourri fragrance list, I am starving.Be well,Cynthia
You think you're hungry now…you should actually smell them! LOL It has taken me many years to weed out the mediocre fragrances so these truly are the best of the best. 🙂 Thank you for visiting our site and for your kind comments as well. 🙂 BTW, although the site itself shows no 'pain statements'…they're here..underneath it all…just as I'm sure most everyone else carries with them. 🙁 I'm following you on both Twitter and Blogger so I eagerly look forward to more heartfelt realities from you. 🙂 My very best to you and yours,Donna @ Shop-A-Holler Prims
You think you're hungry now…you should actually smell them! LOL It has taken me many years to weed out the mediocre fragrances so these truly are the best of the best. 🙂 Thank you for visiting our site and for your kind comments as well. 🙂 BTW, although the site itself shows no 'pain statements'…they're here..underneath it all…just as I'm sure most everyone else carries with them. 🙁 I'm following you on both Twitter and Blogger so I eagerly look forward to more heartfelt realities from you. 🙂 My very best to you and yours,Donna @ Shop-A-Holler Prims
Yes, we don't need to improve ourselves or adopt the latest fashions. We're perfect just as we are.
Yes, we don't need to improve ourselves or adopt the latest fashions. We're perfect just as we are.
Nothingprofound (I disagree already 🙂 You are correct, we are perfect just the way we are. Cynthiabtw – I love this – The news wouldn't worry us, if we weren't already worried.
Nothingprofound (I disagree already 🙂 You are correct, we are perfect just the way we are. Cynthiabtw – I love this – The news wouldn't worry us, if we weren't already worried.
Shop-a-holler – I think I'll be ordering soon. They sound so delicious. Thank you for your kindness.<3Cynthia
Shop-a-holler – I think I'll be ordering soon. They sound so delicious. Thank you for your kindness.<3Cynthia
I've read it several times as well. (warm smile) I think that we would all do well to remember these words of wisdom. I'd like to get your feedback on mine.
I've read it several times as well. (warm smile) I think that we would all do well to remember these words of wisdom. I'd like to get your feedback on mine.
Cynthia, aren't you glad you have learnt their tricks? Thanks to that employer of yours ya? If only everyone else is aware. Sigh.
Cynthia, aren't you glad you have learnt their tricks? Thanks to that employer of yours ya? If only everyone else is aware. Sigh.
Speaks right to my heart!
Speaks right to my heart!
Another brilliant post, thank you for this. I have become intuitive to this manipulation over the years, and it’s getting old already. Those of us that live life in integrity, are the most humble, yet overlooked for employment opportunities, and opportunities to improve the quality of our lives.
Love what you say here, Marisa!
Another brilliant post, thank you for this. I have become intuitive to this manipulation over the years, and it’s getting old already. Those of us that live life in integrity, are the most humble, yet overlooked for employment opportunities, and opportunities to improve the quality of our lives.
Love what you say here, Marisa!