Comments on: If you want life to change, change your story

By: Cynthia Occelli

Cynthia Occelli — Wed, 30 May 2018 03:27:08 +0000

In reply to Jennifer Baron. Jennifer, please take a look at The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love. It might really support you. <3

By: Jennifer Baron

Jennifer Baron — Tue, 29 May 2018 12:49:46 +0000

I feel like my wife gave me a loving smackdown yesterday. We’ve been together 18 years and while I’ve done a lot of healing around my childhood issues, there’s still a sticky residue I’ve been holding onto that periodically creeps up and causes us problems. I felt SO alone as a child and didn’t have anyone to talk to or healthy ways to deal with the chaotic trauma I went through. I also became really angry and resentful that all the adults in my life were checked out. That became my reason to never let anyone too close and I didn’t feel like I ever learned how to trust someone with my heart. I’m currently doing some work with my story which is helping, but realizing how much this is still blocking me from receiving love is like a kick in the pants that I’ve needed. I’m trying to find a balance between loving that inner little girl and compassionately reminding her we’re not 7 years old anymore. We’ve got power, choices and more control over our lives. Your work checks the important boxes for me. Working with our feminine energy and allowing instead of forcing. Thank you! 🙂

By: Natalie

Natalie — Sat, 26 May 2018 14:52:55 +0000

In reply to ResurrectingVenus. Thank you for this.

By: Cynthia

Cynthia — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 18:01:53 +0000

In reply to Rama. Rama - What a gorgeous story of growth and true empowerment. I admire you.

By: Rama

Rama — Fri, 13 Feb 2015 07:15:26 +0000

Thank you Cynthia, for writing this article. I so enjoyed it. For me, it sparked a moment of awareness. A little over 2 years ago, I was recently divorced after a 20 year marriage, with 5 children, lost our beautiful home, living in a single wide mobile older than I am, with less money than I’d ever had before, no credit and a job that covered half my monthly expenses. I was consumed with anger and resentment as I watched my ex ride off into the sunset with all the best of what we spent 20 years creating, being handed over to someone else who hadn’t earned it. I felt disenfranchised and cheated on every level.

Today, everything is different! I chose to make the little things important – to find joy in the song of a Robin, the scent of a flower, of a hug from a child. Remembering that I chose to step out of a marriage that was built on a foundation and mutual desire for the acquisition of security and things – because I wanted life to be real, and most importantly I wanted to give my children a better example. That life is about happiness. It’s not about what sort of car you drive, or your address.

I’ve discovered that the best type of parenting is by example. Everything I see in my children’s lives that is out of harmony, I look at my own, see where that issue lives, make my own adjustments and shockingly soon, I see a shift in my children. The best sermon is when not a word is spoken. The greatest gift I can give my children is to learn how to be happy in any situation. That requires me to model it for them.

A few weeks ago my Mom came to visit. She paid me one of the highest compliments. She said that I was happy, for the first time in my 40 years of living, my mother said she could see I was finally happy!

It wasn’t the $750k home I’d had, or the two $65k cars in the driveway, it wasn’t financial security, or the loving husband, it wasn’t society’s acceptance, it wasn’t my children’s respect. None of that made me happy. Once I lost all of that, and I realized none of that really worked, I found happiness.

Happiness is an inside job as they say, it’s a choice, it’s a muscle, it’s a commitment. Just as you say in your article that you have to change your story for your life to change, so it is with happiness. Being human we seem to love to focus on the negative, but that’s a choice – one that leaves us with more of what we are focusing on!

The last two years of my life have been about retraining, focusing on the sweetness in life, giving to others, finding satisfaction in sharing, and being so grateful for the generosity of the universe in bringing me everything I need. Every bill has been paid, every need has been met. We live in a nicer home, and miracles abound in our lives. My favorite saying is – “Life is good!”

By: paula

paula — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 20:28:00 +0000

I has to be my negative mindset

By: ResurrectingVenus

ResurrectingVenus — Thu, 29 May 2014 16:21:00 +0000

In reply to renata. Renata, this brings me such joy and I so admire your empowered choices. Bless it all. Yes, it was a gift. He had to go so that you could come <3

By: ResurrectingVenus

ResurrectingVenus — Thu, 29 May 2014 16:20:00 +0000

In reply to Jillian.

Hi Jillian, Thank you for writing and please know that health issues call for compassion and understanding, as well as great care, from yourself and others. It’s not simply about changing your story. It’s about giving yourself all you need, mentally, physically, medically, emotionally, and spiritually, to improve the quality of your days and support healing. A subtle shift that may support you, that is a form of changing your story, is to change your target in your mind. If the target/goal/focus in your intention is to NOT BE SICK, your focus is still on being sick. A change to being as well as you can be may shift some of your thinking. The most important thing is to not beat yourself up, or think that somehow you attracted illness, this only weakens you. If you can, see a good psychotherapist to get some help feeling unstuck. Also, you can message me on facebook and I’ll invite you to our private group where you can connect with Stacey Robbins, the author of http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Not-Crazy-And-Alone/dp/0615912761. She has a lot to share about adrenal and auto-immune challenges. Big love to you and hope to hear from you.

By: renata

renata — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:37:00 +0000

When my husband of 20 years moved out of our family home and abandoned me and our two daughters on so many levels, I put this on my notebook calendar that I carry around daily:
Thank you, Divine Love, for putting me in places and with people where I can do highest good for all.
This reminds me to trust that I don’t see the whole picture and that even though I find myself in a place of not knowing and uncertainty about so many things, I am not alone and I am loved and supported and can make a difference for myself and others. In the last 8 months I have been consistently surrounded by loving people, rich learning, opportunities…heartache too, for sure, but heartache that softens me and helps me surrender over and over again.
So even the idea of being abandoned is shifting into seeing it as a necessary doorway to finally being my own person of love and light and healing and my hope is to share at some point. A gift, actually, this act of his leaving.

By: Jillian

Jillian — Thu, 29 May 2014 05:17:00 +0000

Hi Cynthia. I am working on changing my story however I have severe limitations due to debilitating health challenges. I am working on recovering from a severe adrenal crisis that had me hospitalized and dealing with a diagnosis of Addison’s disease. At this time it is extremely difficult to even leave the house. I do have the desire to make major changes in my life but with this illness I feel stuck and trapped. What can I do to change my story? Thank you.

By: ResurrectingVenus

ResurrectingVenus — Tue, 20 May 2014 22:14:00 +0000

In reply to Claire Thompson Moseley. Thank you for opening up to me. You're making a great decision. Walls don't really protect us, they just block our present good. Love to you. C

By: Claire Thompson Moseley

Claire Thompson Moseley — Tue, 20 May 2014 21:54:00 +0000

Hello, Cynthia! Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. One thing I’m going to change about my story is being noncommittal. I realize its a defense mechanism. I want to tear that wall down.

By: Karen Kalau

Karen Kalau — Mon, 24 Mar 2014 17:06:00 +0000

Life is so short. Tell the people that mean something to you that you love them often :O) Also you , and you alone are in control of your life so if you don’t like something change it. For me it was getting rid of negative hurtful people in my life. That is sometimes hard especially when its family. However, you are in control of how much time you spend with them and you can leave when chose too ;O)

By: Dellagation

Dellagation — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 17:16:00 +0000

My life change has been an ongoing process. The one thing I’m doing now is taking complete ownership, 100% of my life and self ‘as is’ and giving myself compassion and the love of discipline that will shape my life into what I’ve always known it can be. This will keep me focused and guard against the many distractions that I’ve allowed to keep me off track. I get to be ME fully and completely and see what I accomplish when I stop trying to be normal.

By: Alice Ann Hengesbach

Alice Ann Hengesbach — Wed, 19 Mar 2014 13:35:00 +0000

Old story: my immediate family has chosen to have nothing to do with me. New story: So many wonderful people cross my path everyday: in person, online and in many surprising ways. It is astounding how deeply I am loved and cared about.

By: ResurrectingVenus

ResurrectingVenus — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 16:45:00 +0000

In reply to Talia. Talia, what an incredible story. Thank you for sharing it. The world needs to hear from people like you. Love, Cynthia

By: Talia

Talia — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 15:44:00 +0000

I changed my story. I was jobless, on food stamps, in an atrocious marriage and pregnant and raising a two year old. Today I’m happy, finishing nursing school in May, and in my way to following my dream to become a midwife. I’ve also recently met the man of my dreams. We all have that woman in the grocery store…it’s a matter of if we accept her as an angel or deny her and create another false oppressor. Aamin!

By: Peggee Reser

Peggee Reser — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 14:01:00 +0000

I’m going to stay in FAITH and take at least one step every day to grow my business!

By: SweetPea

SweetPea — Thu, 05 Dec 2013 14:21:00 +0000

Plot Twist!

By: Ann Catherine

Ann Catherine — Sat, 30 Nov 2013 21:30:00 +0000

In reply to ResurrectingVenus.

“It’s a path that reveals itself when we see it.”…

Highly insightful, and I’d like to add that while sometimes the initial turning points and transitions we imagine for ourselves simply serve as the platform for the unfolding that comes later. Having a starting point for – and putting “one foot in front of the other” – is the catalyst that allows all of life’s blessings and triumphs to unfold.

Thank you for sharing your empowering story!

( empoweredwomanawake @empoweredwoma on Twitter )