Bree is an executive by day and aspiring fashion designer the rest of the time. For two years, she’s sold her fashions to eager buyers at local trunk shows and small events. Her stuff is good, really good.
With great enthusiasm, she shared her dream of quitting her white collar job and manufacturing her own line. I sat rapt, enjoying her animated persona. Creating a fashion line is the natural next step in her evolution. She has a great chance of success and she’ll always regret not trying. I offered to assist her in writing her business plan and calling a few contacts that could help.
In an instant, everything about Bree changed. Her face fell and she slumped back in her seat. Like a child in trouble, she confessed that she’d thought about it, but clothing design was just a hobby, not a real business.
By most definitions, selling a product for more than it cost to make it is business. Somehow, Bree couldn’t see that. I asked her to explain and after several moments of foggy, circular explanations she said, “My boyfriend and my mother always tell me that my job is what’s important and fashion is just a craft hobby.”
Bree’s boyfriend and mother love her and if asked why they’ve labeled her fashions a hobby, I’m sure their answer would boil down to their own fears and their desire for Bree to be financially safe.
The problem is that the safe road isn’t safe. Moving through life taking the path least risk and dream fulfillment is dangerous. If Bree continued to allow the will of her well meaning, loved ones to stifle her greatest expression, the day would come when a dark curtain of regret fell over her life.
When I reflected my impression of the situation back to Bree, she saw it clearly. I assured her that she didn’t need to attack her mother or boyfriend, quit her job or abandon anything.
She did need to assert dominion over her thoughts and beliefs. Further, it was time to explain to her loved ones how she felt and ask for their help. If they chose not to give it, that was their story, not hers.
It is imperative to remember that every opinion is couched in the experiences, biases and fears of the speaker. Your job as the person ultimately responsible for your life is to evaluate those opinions and ask, “Is this really true?”
Bree looks and sounds like a new woman. She is excited about her life and actively endeavoring to be the only speaker in her mind. Her fashions are no longer a hobby, for now they are her second career. Soon they’ll be her only career.
Whose opinions are masquerading as your beliefs?
~ Cynthia
Hey Cynthia,
That was beautifuly written and well said….as i read it i started to think of all the voices that are holding me back and what are teh things i need to do as i only hear my voice….really loved this one 🙂
Best wishes
Rain
Hello Rain – I always love to hear from you. I know the many voices that permeate life and culture where you are. It takes an extra dose of strength because independence is not embraced by all. Nonetheless, at the end of each day you will go to sleep with the same person FOREVER, care for her, make her happy, love her.
Peace,
Cynthia
Hey Cynthia,
That was beautifuly written and well said….as i read it i started to think of all the voices that are holding me back and what are teh things i need to do as i only hear my voice….really loved this one 🙂
Best wishes
Rain
Hello Rain – I always love to hear from you. I know the many voices that permeate life and culture where you are. It takes an extra dose of strength because independence is not embraced by all. Nonetheless, at the end of each day you will go to sleep with the same person FOREVER, care for her, make her happy, love her.
Peace,
Cynthia
Hey, just came across your blog, loved this post. Will definitely be going over the others and coming back regularly.
Otieno:
It is a pleasure to have you.
Cynthia
Hey, just came across your blog, loved this post. Will definitely be going over the others and coming back regularly.
Otieno:
It is a pleasure to have you.
Cynthia
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!
Thank you! I’m flattered 🙂
Terrific work! This is the type of information that should be shared around the web. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher!
Thank you! I’m flattered 🙂
Amazing post, Cynthia. 🙂 We often fail to respond to our Inner Voice . Our decisions in Life, as you correctly mentioned, depends on our experiences, beliefs, biased opinions. More than that, sometimes one is not allowed to exercise one's own power of decision making on an issue which if handled by the person himself/herself might not [sometimes] click. Apparently this is the Fear all our well wishers have. This does not Help in the long run. That is because when a person is stopped from taking self made decisions , his/her confidence level drops. But definitely sometimes one can and should take the suggestions of elders and friends. 🙂 Looking forward to your articles. Good wishes. 🙂
All the best to you always, Nabanita.
Amazing post, Cynthia. 🙂 We often fail to respond to our Inner Voice . Our decisions in Life, as you correctly mentioned, depends on our experiences, beliefs, biased opinions. More than that, sometimes one is not allowed to exercise one's own power of decision making on an issue which if handled by the person himself/herself might not [sometimes] click. Apparently this is the Fear all our well wishers have. This does not Help in the long run. That is because when a person is stopped from taking self made decisions , his/her confidence level drops. But definitely sometimes one can and should take the suggestions of elders and friends. 🙂 Looking forward to your articles. Good wishes. 🙂
All the best to you always, Nabanita.