Recently, I participated in an online discussion about relationships. At first, the exchanges were thoughtful and interesting. In time, however they became vulgar, graphic and offensive. Initially, I responded by ignoring the graphic language and focusing on my contribution.
I felt sullied. It was as though I had spent an evening in a seedy bar surrounded by callous, heathens who had never heard the word: gentleman.
I mentioned the experience to a very dear male friend (more like a champion, really) and his response gave me pause. He pointed out that were the same conversation to occur in person, at the first whisper of inappropriateness, I’d remove myself from the situation and preclude all further contact.
Why would I tolerate anything different online?
He was right. I am ultimately responsible for the people and experiences in my life. If I want a life filled with people who bring me joy and make me better, then I must be active in nurturing those relationships while turning away from people who darken my experience.
I need hold no ill will toward those I choose to separate from. They are absolutely entitled to live the life of their choosing. I can simply send them love silently and move on.
I ended my participation in the discussion, removed every comment I’d made, and sent a note to the leader explaining that I could not remain in that exchange, but wished him well.
As I clicked send and the whole experience ended, I felt a tremendous sense of relief and a return to the peace and light that permeates so much of my life.
Through our conscious and unconscious choices, we create the substance and quality of our lives.
The point of power is the moment we become aware of our own non-life affirming actions.
Honor thyself.