Photo Credit: tonivic
This Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Traditionally, it is a day of appreciation for the bounty of food the American settlers enjoyed. Whether you’re in the US or not, this Thanksgiving in particular gives us an opportunity to take an important step in the direction of building whatever we deem our best lives.
One cannot effectively move forward while looking backward (visualize driving on the freeway staring in the rear view mirror). As we approach the end of the year and decade, we can aid our future selves by contemplating, completing and clearing away relationships, situations and behaviors that don’t serve our highest good while harvesting the the ones that do.
Something that causes you discomfort is not patently bad. In fact, often the thing you want to do the least is actually that which is for your highest good. To distinguish between your good and that which is a disservice, look for what the experience will cultivate in you and whether it serves another.
For example, learning to speak well publicly may feel terribly painful, but on the other side of that pain is success, greater confidence and a contribution to the world. It is good. By contrast, learning to live day after day in an abusive relationship (personal or professional), cultivates nothing good and is a disservice to the abusive person because it eliminates the impetus for change. It must end.
Spend time this week reflecting on the past year and decade. Who were you? What happened in your life? What did you learn? What are you proud or happy about? What makes you cringe?
Get clear on all of the things that you didn’t like or continue to dislike. What did that thing or situation trigger in you? What character trait or action would (or would have) solved it? The answer is usually the aspect of you that is seeking to emerge.
Step outside of yourself and get curious about you.
Write in down, don’t share it.
~ Cynthia
I completely agree that everyone should answer these questions for themselves, but I don't agree that you shouldn't share it. It can be a rewarding experience to share it through telling a friend or writing a blog about it. Sure, keep some of it back just for yourself, but don't be afraid to share intimate details about your life… these past events are what make us who we are.
I completely agree that everyone should answer these questions for themselves, but I don't agree that you shouldn't share it. It can be a rewarding experience to share it through telling a friend or writing a blog about it. Sure, keep some of it back just for yourself, but don't be afraid to share intimate details about your life… these past events are what make us who we are.
Hi Jeane:
Thank you for visiting. This exercise is part of a greater effort to prepare for the new year and the life one would like to create. If you’ve read my past writings, you know that I am a strong proponent of protecting vulnerable ideas from the opinions and commentary of others. Far too many people limit themselves and their lives based on the well intended cautions of others. This is the reason for my statement. Also, writing for oneself versus writing for others is vastly different. There are levels of honestly and intimacy that will not be reached when sharing with friends or blogging. To get the absolute most out of this exercise, one must get inside themselves without the distraction of others opinions. Were this an exercise in building intimacy with others, I would agree that sharing is beneficial. Yet, the focus here is single.
Be well,
Cynthia
Hello Cynthia,
I haven't been getting your posts sent to my google reader for quite awhile – I decided to check BlogCatalog and was so surprised to see all that I have been missing! Hmm, I must figure out what is wrong with my "reader".
Anyway, I really enjoyed this article … and I appreciated the way you expressed your reasoning for keeping certain writings private in the above comment/reply. I can see I have a lot of reading to catch up on … and looking forward to it. You have a sensitive manner in the way you approach various subjects – you offer your experience, knowledge, insights in a kind, warm and direct way which I feel is more motivating for the reader.
Have a great week!
Peppy
Peppy!
So nice to see you! I’ve missed you. Your reader is fine. The earth angels at Blogcatalog moved me to my own domain name and because of the timing, I didn’t get to tell my readers. I may go back and try.
Nevertheless, I am so happy you are here. You are always an inspiration.
I’ll see you on your blog!
Cynthia
Cynthia, This blog could not have come at a more perfect time for me. I am in a relationship with a married man. I know this is wrong, I know it’s not healthy, I know he is not someone I’d like to spend the rest of my life with (he’s a cheater). I haven’t been able to end this relationship. I’ve heard the whispers and they are getting louder. I must end this before the walls come tumbling down. This blog has made me realize now is the time.
P.S> I don’t need to hear anyone judge me for what I’m doing…I beat myself up daily over it.
You won’t find judgment from me. What you will find is the encouragement to follow what you know to do. You have the right to a wonderful relationship with a trustworthy man. It cannot come to you until you make room for it.
Make this about stepping up for you. If you knew your worth you wouldn’t settle for this. Prove your worth by taking the action you would take if you were the most important person in the world. You are the most important person in your world. It’s time to act like it.
You can transform this into a positive. Get to it!
Love,
Cynthia